First thing he told me when I texted him was “how did YOU text ME? You are too perfect”. Other things he said that made me feel he sees me as something special and he has some sort of fear was “how are you such a treasure?”, (after not making a move and contemplating on it for months he asked) “what do you think the ideal date for us should be?” and “what if we have sex and that ruins everything?” (This last he deleted very fast but I caught it). Why does the date have to be ideal, let’s just grab a beer and why are you overthinking sex? What will it ruin? We are not even friends!
Other than that, there was instant connection like we knew each other forever, we laughed a lot,we have many similarities as human, many common life experiences, we are both artists and after I met him I got two job offers where he works. It wasn’t purely coincidence and karmic, I followed the projects on social media because of him, the managers saw me and they offered me a job. But it felt like something is pushing us together. Of course he barely shows up in the first job and I think I just rejected the other job because turns out it’s too painful being around him if I can’t have him. I heard that he got stressed about me being there as well and he did act awkward.
I got tired of waiting for him to make a move. Maybe if I was patient it would progress slowly until he got some balls. (twin flames are supposed to progress fast right ?or that’s not a rule in all relationships? We haven’t even kissed) So I expressed him how I feel. I told him that I care about him. He doubted me and then he said that’s “extreme” and “weird”. I got grounded pretty fast right there. Pure rejection. So after I got rejected and thought it’s over I thought what’s the harm in telling him something more extreme, that I haven’t had sex with anyone else since I started liking him. He did freak out like I expected, he said “what? That is a huge responsibility, I am a mess I can’t handle a responsibility like that, you are making it worse”. I told him “I said I haven’t had sex, not that I am a virgin!”. And overall he said “I am into laid back things right now and I like it, I can’t be overanalyzing, that’s all”. He meant that I was overanalyzing. I wasn’t. I was just trying to communicate with him to see what is holding him back and he is not into communicating= not interested. If we just had one open conversation there would be no overanalyzing.
I guess that was the open conversation I needed to stop trying to understand him, I won’t bother him again, it was a clear rejection even though I think it was out of fear.
I still like him and it hurts, I thought there was something special there. If we are twin flames he is supposed to overcome his issues and come back, in months or years. He did say he was on therapy but I don’t know….
There are things here that resemble a twin flame journey, or he could just be a guy that is not interested and I am overanalyzing like he said. But usually guys that are not interested , will at least f… you first and ghost you later! :P And I am very f…able, that is not an issue , actually that has been my problem all my life that men would see me only as a piece of meat, just for sex. And one of the things I liked in him was that he did not prioritize sex, but avoiding it?